Rebellion of the Social Misfits

Outsiders are made, not accidentally created. 
Whether it's coworkers, neighbors, friends or family, outsiders are the ones who say 'no', the ones who stand up for themselves and the ones who don't bend under the pressure of not belonging.
A lot of people have been there.
I've been there.
One of the biggest fears of many people, is that you won't fit it or that you'll be put outside of a circle. It's usually a circle of troublemakers, who get off on gossiping lies. It's a false sense of feeling included with mind-gamers who supposedly have your best interest at heart and want you to have the inside scoop on what they deem as communication, which bonds unity. 

Rebellion be the Hellion; that courageous square peg in a round world.
If you can get past the fear, life is on the other side.

Troublemakers will make half-assed threats that if you don't do something they want or if you don't stay away from someone or another group of folks, then you'll be emotionally punished, implying how you would be at risk of being all alone. That's their way of causing a divide and being a bully to keep you under their control. People have to think for themselves, use their heads and not be lazy by saying they know all about someone, when they actually base their beliefs on the opinions of others, for a particular individual. 

The last thing troublemakers want is to see someone they've oust be part of anything and know the peace of true belonging with others, besides the scope they would allow. They want individuals to lead a sorrowful life and feel damned via exclusion.

If anyone, you thought was a friend, won't listen to your side and have an interest in your pain, then they've already decided to exclude you. 
And they'll make up things about you (referencing facts) and guide others, within a circle, to stay clear of you. Truth will be hidden in layers of lies.
If others want to believe every lie as gospel (truth), take the bait, get hooked and be controlled by a circle, then it's genuinely liberating to not be a part of it.

It's all about finding people who will listen, will understand and will get how overrated that stuck-up, little circle is.
Then, you have your own place to call home.
Those who made you an outsider will hate it because they'll know that it's your turn to talk about them for a change, oust their behavior and have loyalty with like-minded souls who've been through the same ostracization.
Outsiders protect their own and make their own pack. 
We are the social misfits and the ones certain, hypocritical circles would throw away.
It's a high ... to feel acceptance and love, when smug hypocrites would enjoy causing you depression by saying you're a waste. 
Be brave, be alone ... until you find caring people who know the road you've been down because they've been on the same journey.

© Kay Irvin

Moonchild

Burnin' heart, blue fire, sapphire deep
(Still waters?) - not hardly,... but hard currents
Pressed doubt, push and pull, the climb out is steep
Spat upon a rock, empty dock, nighthawk
(Shell-shocked, through and through)

How low ... must I go,
... grieve enough, (paralyzed) - by you?
How high ... must I fly,
... leave, (the ostracized) - soar anew?
Because I'm not given the choice for belonging

Black ice eyes, wiser in reprise, yeah tense
'Cause some feel, need to slam ya down a peg
- Then say 'lighten up',... good luck finding sense
They're extreme, silence or scream, no between
(Their way or nothing)

How low ... must I go,
... grieve enough, (paralyzed) - by you?
How high ... must I fly,
... leave, (the ostracized) - soar anew?
Because I'm not given the choice for belonging

(c) Kay Irvin

Hellions

There's no pleasing everyone
It's delirium to try
(ask me why)

Sewing circles needle lies
Silvery threads had sewn my eyes
Lashes ripping, open wide
But they'll never care what's inside

The hellion and wild child lives
Through hypocrisy-laced motives
Even if you cater whims
Some would stitch you with requiems

If they can't think on their own
And self-righteous snare make their throne
Let the instigators rejoice
And beset purl seal up their voice

Hellions, rebellions, anarchy
Not trendy circle's cup of tea
There's no pleasing such snobbery
It's delirium to try
(can you see why?)
(can you see why?)

(c) Kay Irvin

Black Sheep

The outcast, the outsider ... looking in
You're blessed, I am poison
Pushed away to beg scraps at the fringes
Sour tinges

You position yourself for gratitude
You're a dear one, subdued
Gossiping behind everyone's back
Comments crack

Strange, peculiar but snaps summon ... I'm called
You're gold, I am blackballed
I wanted to please you and you used that
Mock is chat
(spreading like wildfire)

Pretty lies ... I collected
I wanted to believe them
I filled them deep in my heart
And dressed up disappointment
Pretending your loyalty
Pretty lies ... I told myself
Divide ripped reverie apart
And I gathered splintered dreams
But everything scattered
Shattered so cruel, you're too cool
For a loser's emptiness
You made me feel like nothing
(Don't be shy, aren't you proud?)

I embrace not belonging
My acceptance screams nothing
Your excuses mean nothing
I was never good enough
And that barren, brutal truth
Is gut-wrenching nothingness

For so long, this lost soul had no reply
For so long, this reject let snide jab by
This freak at last speaks to let the pent up go
You seem surprised how much pain overflows

Hypocrisy and betrayal (you reap it)
You can keep it, I won't be hurt (anymore)
You use judgement to vent your own frustration
Reasoning via misfit vindication

I'm the wolf, raged, uncaged while you stay fenced
I'm the rock you broke your sorrows against
When you did whisper ... "What a waste, what a shame"
Damned at best is ironic, darkly name

I am the anthem of anger
Silence is dead, I rant your telltale spite
Drag your intentions to the light and out
Lift your soft rumors right up to clear shout
You're sweet, the rose red, I am wretched thorn
I am the black sheep, I will not conform

Nothingness
But I was here
(I was here)

(c) Kay Irvin