The Reckoning

When we're apart
Some dreaming intoxicates
I imagine just how sweet you taste
Love, I am consumed (you captivate)

What's yet to be
Hangs so heavy and unsung
Time stills and slumbers unknown, among
Lost touch and starry madness (for one)

Love, my eyes have long looked into
Love, I am soul-enraptured through
Thoughts in my mind are deafening
My wild heart pleads ... beckoning
Reckoning is true
There is only you
It's always been you

When you're near (dear)
Some dreaming unfolds pure heat
First kiss, warm taste, such hypnotic beat
Just neath the surface, running deep (sweet)

What's yet to be
Hangs so heavy and unsung
Time stills and slumbers unknown, among
Lost touch and starry madness (for one)
(and you're the one)

Love, my eyes have long looked into
Love, I am soul-enraptured through
Thoughts in my mind are deafening
My wild heart pleads ... beckoning
Reckoning is true
There is only you
It's always been you

(You're the one)
(It's always been you)

(c) Kay Irvin

Feeling Through The Dark

Such swirling to the edge of madness
Such tense, boney hands and tortured mind
Numb and unassuming is a mask
Just a soulless darkling there to find

But all the times so repressed have torn
And a lion from the lamb is born
Feeling through the dark

Shadows cast to a 4 am wall
Contorted when the night terrors splay
Those tired, mired hands thrash like claws
Those crooked shapes scrape demons away

From all the times so repressed ... roars warn
And a lion from the lamb is born

Dark places, condescending faces
Come rushing, crushing, mocking lost hopes
Finally, once more
I am at the end of my ropes
Feeling through the dark

Oh, call down the courage
And the lion lives
Don't give up, don't give in
Ready the bold spikes
Let the fight begin
Again and again
(again and again)

(c) Kay Irvin

Epic

Say what you mean, mean what you say
Not some tomorrow, my love and sorrow
For today

Because you play with surety
Because you seem confused and hurt with deny
Because as well as I could have you, I don't
No answers why, no trust and tie
We should try
(we should try)

Say what you mean, mean what you say
Not for never, my love and harsh sever
From halfway

Because you tease all my insecurity
Because you flirt and contradict
Because perfect as you could have me, you don't
Not blissful high, not the epic
So classic
(we could be)

July breeze, wind chimes
Gliding a sultry fix for Summer nights
Autumn gilt fingers
Feeling, finding snowflakes and Christmas lights
We can cite
(we can cite)
How love's worth the fight
Tell me ... we're all right
Show me ... we're all right

(c) Kay Irvin

Black Sheep

The outcast, the outsider ... looking in
You're blessed, I am poison
Pushed away to beg scraps at the fringes
Sour tinges

You position yourself for gratitude
You're a dear one, subdued
Gossiping behind everyone's back
Comments crack

Strange, peculiar but snaps summon ... I'm called
You're gold, I am blackballed
I wanted to please you and you used that
Mock is chat
(spreading like wildfire)

Pretty lies ... I collected
I wanted to believe them
I filled them deep in my heart
And dressed up disappointment
Pretending your loyalty
Pretty lies ... I told myself
Divide ripped reverie apart
And I gathered splintered dreams
But everything scattered
Shattered so cruel, you're too cool
For a loser's emptiness
You made me feel like nothing
(Don't be shy, aren't you proud?)

I embrace not belonging
My acceptance screams nothing
Your excuses mean nothing
I was never good enough
And that barren, brutal truth
Is gut-wrenching nothingness

For so long, this lost soul had no reply
For so long, this reject let snide jab by
This freak at last speaks to let the pent up go
You seem surprised how much pain overflows

Hypocrisy and betrayal (you reap it)
You can keep it, I won't be hurt (anymore)
You use judgement to vent your own frustration
Reasoning via misfit vindication

I'm the wolf, raged, uncaged while you stay fenced
I'm the rock you broke your sorrows against
When you did whisper ... "What a waste, what a shame"
Damned at best is ironic, darkly name

I am the anthem of anger
Silence is dead, I rant your telltale spite
Drag your intentions to the light and out
Lift your soft rumors right up to clear shout
You're sweet, the rose red, I am wretched thorn
I am the black sheep, I will not conform

Nothingness
But I was here
(I was here)

(c) Kay Irvin

Gothic Victorian

Flames are on the leaves
The waters are still
Wistful presence grieves
Riddle charms surreal
Can you feel, can you feel?

There is calm before the storm
Something dies, something is born
And thunder lives
(she is)

Hazel eyes know pain
They look into you
Lightning splits the rain
And she reaches through
Believe ... do you, do you?

Nightmares chill the bone
And there's no way out
You are not alone
She's heart of the house
Do you doubt, do you doubt?

Climb up to the thirteenth stair
And she will be waiting there
She knows you are so weary
Her soft touch may seem eerie
She knows you can understand
Love is the take of her hand

And she is strangely comforting
(she is)
Dark hair, deep stare and black lace
Dark soul offering embrace
And she is strangely comforting
(she is)
The piano plays tonight
Chime tolls long, time come alight
Thirteen candles burning bright

And thunder lives
(she is)
Gothic Victorian
Sweet flesh of porcelain
(she is, she is)

(c) Kay Irvin

~ In part - for Sarah Winchester
And the Winchester Mystery House
The "13" is also for my Mother,
Born in Springtime (13th day)
Often, when I write, 13 will be mentioned
(my favorite number)
"I love you Mom and I'm thankful for you every day."

Phoenix Rising

You so kept me spinning and reeling
And it took everything I had
To hide feeling
Even though you were slowly killing me

My hands were chained, my heart was twisted
And I knew what I would have to brave
To be lifted
From heavy path and aftermath to be

I had to give and prove
I had to see it done
To know deep in my heart
Trying bled till dying
And what remained was none

Your angry voice left me quite assured
What I had to do was before me
Oh, though obscured
Ruins lay jagged and unforgiving

From ground of burnt love, I rallied nerve
To push my footsteps, fierce into flight
What I deserve
Is the chance your attempt denied living

And dust swirled
Scorched by flame
Seared with blame
But just the same
Goodbye was on the wing
Upon my leave
Upon last time I'll ever hear you call my name

Last time was the last time I'll hear you call my name
Goodbye rides on the wing
There, it will always stay
With release to my back
A new horizon bursts
Far risen from the gray

(c) Kay Irvin

The Ghosts and Autumn Tambourine

Perhaps travelers all in at twilight
Searching for leaves and bed to rest a dream
So I thought, as October's playful child
And I crept the fortress of their lit scene
Flickering candlelight and tambourine

All souls gathered round a high bonfire
They offered flowers kin the May month green
For the cool mist of the changing season
Left the briar thick but the garden lean
Petals showered down from the tambourine

Coven choir sang with arousing voices
For to the depth and all the woods between
I was so captured with rustic beauty
Nearly forgetting the eve, Halloween
A haunting sound fell from the tambourine

Dusky dance and images illusion
Filled my mind but was loving gift to glean
Starry candles illuminated peace
All Hallows stirred shadows, casting forth serene
Chanting, chanting the world and blessed be

(c) Kay Irvin

Moonlight Spirals

The velvet, black curtains now unfold
The body moves from habit of pace
All the hours have singed with their gold
The mind is dark ground, lonely and cold
Moonlight spirals some slit with its grace

The soul is void needing some fill
Heart is broken by shards of deceit
The earth and its edges seem surreal
Where denial could wander and steal
Moonlight spirals some dust to defeat

The stars sedate, all anger does rest
Weary hands lift to wipe tired pain
A hidden thaw emerges the crest
The stolid melts a secluded nest
Moonlight spirals the prelude of rain

(c) Kay Irvin