Bottle of Sun

There's a gun to my heart, held by your love
I'm frozen as Winter
And if the shot rings I know my dreams will shatter
Like icicles breaking, out to the beyond
All will be gone ... if you turn me away
Close to you is where I must stay

Around the corner
Down the street
Outside your house
And at your feet
I'll always be near

Within the silence
Under your bed
Above the noise
Inside your head
I'll always be here

Life doesn't make sense but why can't we?
My blood runs cold and I need your light
My world is night
A dark existence
Nothing eases this pain but to see your face
(when you smile)
I'm beguiled
And don't want this feeling to leave

Am I wrong, to say you're mine?
(in my mind, you are mine)
Maybe your answer is something I shouldn't know
Then our bond will never let go
Behind this wall of ice
I see the warmth of your eyes
Like a bottle of sun
And I won't share you with anyone

Around the corner
Down the street
Outside your house
And at your feet
I'll always be near

Within the silence
Under your bed
Above the noise
Inside your head
I'll always be here

© Kay Irvin

-- a little Vampire-Stalker lyrics
for the soon Autumn/Halloween season

Autumn Love

Bright romance was a waste of time and cruel
One sided light to catch
One way compromise by its rule
But I refuse to chase

When you've known love to only palace scars
You need someone the same
To open and release the stars
Dark romance, tears, embrace 

Tortured souls with tormented charms
Be welcomed place mid sheltered arms
And within our darkness, we have come home

Autumn eyes, whose changing colors collide
Are seasoned with struggle
Stormy depths to get lost inside
Familiar with refrain

Deep kisses, hungry with a hint to bleed
Are less about the want
And so much more about the need
Unabridged, starved by pain

Tortured souls with tormented charms
Be welcomed place mid sheltered arms
And within our darkness, love has come home

Always outside, while others held the Spring
Always outside, while Summer singe would sting
But now, doors invite us for everything

Tortured souls with tormented charms
Be welcomed place mid sheltered arms
And within our darkness, love has come home

© Kay Irvin

The Sun Can Betray

It's a sad, sad story
And it happens every day
That which grace loses glory
And how the sun can betray

People ride promises in like a storm
Wreck havoc and blow out on a breeze
Never knowing, never giving a damn
About all the damage that they leave

They see a calm and want its destruction
They see some struggle and want it worse
Everyone else is pushed to rock bottom 
They only worry 'bout being first

It's a sad, sad story
And it happens every day
That which grace loses glory
And how the sun can betray

- Some - gorgeous, drop dead girls, snag a taker
Their guys later complain, there's no care
Femme, bat lash eyes rove out a wandering
Searching out, new lover to ensnare

- Some - bad boys will charm but are unstable
Bad is the word a girl might forget
His hand can turn from tender to heavy
Her wishes trade for bruise and regret

Such bright shining things draw a hopeful heart
Be sure in what it is and what it seems
Love is a fragile gift that when broken
Can be lost and its Soul never redeems

It's a sad, sad story
And it happens every day
That which grace loses glory
And how the sun can betray

© Kay Irvin

And Then There's Honesty

I'm slow to trust
But love too hard
Intense with care
And that can leave a scar
When someone disappears

Want to believe
Hold back, instead
Front with a smile
With chaos in my head
Damage, ruins from the years

If love would fight for me
I would never let go
This much I know

Can't still the pain
Can't kill the past
I get depressed
Can true bond really last?
To me, it's a riddle 

Hope has its guard
Reach has resist
I try to try
But dark places exist
I battle the middle

If love would fight for me
I would never let go
This much I know

© Kay Irvin

Damiana

Her kisses taste like cinnamon
Potent as a brew of devil's cherries
Her perfume smells likes dark Magic
But she's a White Witch
Airy, ethereal 
She's a thousand sunsets
There's nightshade in her eyes
Fire on her flesh
Spells on her lips
And those candy hot thistles from her tongue
Send érotique surge through your every vein

And you'll never be the same
And you'll never be the same
(unfading love)

Pink mist, black velvet words
- "I've missed you,..
Hold me, don't let go"
Wrap up inside every syllable
She's hypnotic
Lyrical champagne
Her gaze is ... the stars ... and 13 moons
Her fingertips are open roses
Wandering, conjuring
As Amaranth candles burn 
That blush smoke etches your name

And you'll never be the same
And you'll never be the same
(unfading love)

© Kay Irvin

A Pitiful Shame

Hell hath no fury
But desire knows no mercy
Loyalty knows no end
Like a woman who fiercely loves
And is truly loved in return
You're turning her away
And that's a pitiful shame

Some past woman did you some wrongs
She's gone but you won't let her go
I've tried to be understanding
You're not giving me a place to grow

If you're not talking about her
You pine, she's your uncertain mood
Fear in your eyes, pause of your voice
Where I know thoughts of me score exclude

I want to give love and you a chance
But you're still hung up on what's over
A past lover, who doesn't love you
We're all passing ships, misdirected,
Mixed signals and it's all for nothing
We always end up back here, my Dear,
No one's in love, no one's being loved
(And that's a pitiful shame)

You say you have feelings for me
You sure the Hell don't show it much
Gone when I need, need but refuse
Fade into your own world and lose touch

It's not as though I'm unshattered
You should be strength for me but - no
For too long, I've been strong for two
And I'm through propping up your ego

Time dies, I won't wait to be loved
I'm not a filler for your ex,
Not a showmance, while your wounds purge,
Not a way station for what comes next

I want to give love and you a chance
But you're still hung up on what's over
A past lover, who doesn't love you
We're all passing ships, misdirected,
Mixed signals and it's all for nothing
We always end up back here, my Dear,
No one's in love, no one's being loved
(And that's a pitiful shame)

When I'm gone, will you cry out my name,
Beat your chest and curse your ragged heart,
Languish as you've done for your old flame,
Who crept your nerve and kept us apart?

Somehow, I bet it won't be the same
You didn't invest yourself in me
(And Baby, that's a pitiful shame)
When I'm gone, will you cry out my name?

Hell hath no fury
But desire knows no mercy
Loyalty knows no end
Like a woman who fiercely loves
And is truly loved in return
You're turning her away
And that's a pitiful shame

© Kay Irvin

The Belonging

Dark house, smoldering sage
Winding lanes catch blood from moonbeams
Incandescent cauldron
- that vermilion moon, wakens screams

Footsteps move stealth phantom
But voice makes behest, stalking near 
As the windows rattle,
Chiming, breaking, I feel eyes leer

This home holds many shadows
These walls keep many secrets
All doors and rooms are endless
The belonging now begins

Cold hands touch, my flesh chills
Away doubt, imprint doesn't lie
Steal my breath, seal with kiss
Darkness enfolds with hue and cry

This home holds many shadows
These walls keep many secrets
All doors and rooms are endless
The belonging now begins

(and darkness I became)
(and darkness I became)

My Beloved, come home to me
And I will welcome you with sleep
Dreams, you've not ever imagined
And deathless wed of housed mystique

(the belonging shall be)

© Kay Irvin

My Little Black Heart

Love, my Darkling
Moon's spellbinding Muse
Delight this Soul
However you choose

Big eyes you have
No one can compare
You dazzle and lure
What big smile you wear

Before you waits
Sacrificial lambs
Long daggers palm
The tall, black door slams

Be still, my little black heart
There's much beauty in the dark
Share it with me
Be still, my little black heart
All which beats, I give to you
Do what you will

Perfumed air drifts
Patchouli and sex
Worshippers vie
Flesh altars for hex

Cabernet kiss
Rocking, black lair thrills
Low music grinds
And the chalice spills

Be still, my little black heart
There's much beauty in the dark
Share it with me
Be still, my little black heart
All which beats, I give to you
Do what you will

© Kay Irvin

Indigo

Tossing, turning, sleep eludes me
All I think of is indigo
And with that, my mind is racing
Restless thoughts have nothing else to know
(but your sweet love)

Your hands, your dulcet fingertips
My skin keeps constant memory
How powerless I am with you
Blue room, blue eyes, bluer than the sea

Reliving each moment, last with you
How your body commands, pleads and moves
Breathy, risqué echoes haunt with hue

Rain's tapping outside the window
Leaves and branches flash, rapping slow
Night rumbles after lightning's glow
Restless thoughts have nothing else to know
(but your sweet love)

And I feel you within the thunder
I can't escape this spell I'm under
(my indigo)
Your love completely captivates me
Blue room, blue eyes, bluer than the sea
(my indigo)

© Kay Irvin

Sanguine

Come and dance with me, slowly
With haunting, love songs that collide
Our embrace, like hot elixir
Quenching bond, we both feel inside

(I want to drink of your soul)

Everything I am - is yours
You're my world, you make it sublime
I belong to you, entirely
And you'll belong to me ... in time

(I want to drink of your soul)

Who cares about others or how they might perceive us to be
Their vanilla lust often crumbles to dust
They'll never know the taste of a touch for dark lovers, as we 

Let me be the love you've not had
And only the night sky be clad
(by the shimmering depth of your eyes)

Pair with me, sleeping fantasies
Trust with me, tranquil mysteries
(We'll be dream weavers, fevers shall rise)

Come, fill this fierce trembling and thirst that sends me out of control
My love, how I want to stay wrapped in you and drink of your soul
(to infinity)

(infinity)

© Kay Irvin

Winter Spell

So many people, so many promises
So many lies, when they all swore they would stay
I've been disillusioned, yet fell, overtaken
Hoping against hope they wouldn't go away

Frost on encounters, frost on hands that make reach
Could it be to belong or am I snow blind?
Icicles and prisms bewitch with visions
But are cold to the depths, disguised as designed

I want today, tomorrow and forever
I need to believe 'neath this Winter white spell
Feel a warmth I've never had or imagined
Sweep over me, melt this iced fear that befell

Shatter this atmosphere that courses my blood
Smash and free, give to me - endless, burning love

New Winter tale
Winter spell (our love)
Icicles and prisms bewitch with visions
Our own world (our love)
New Winter tale
Winter spell (our amazing love)

© Kay Irvin

Bloodwine

You don't seek to know me
Convinced that you perceive me well
I try getting closer
Your icy distance burns like Hell

I love you like bloodwine
But you turn on like lemonade
Sugar-sour tease with sting
Who wrecks my mind like a grenade

When I'm with you I want forever 
When I'm with you I want out
When I'm with you I am quite certain
When I'm with you I have doubt
(but I love you like bloodwine) 

In so many ways I attempt to need 
Frustration is aware I'm crushing deep
I know I may not return from the break
If illusion is enamoured to leap
It's a long way down
It's a long way down
Torn between what I wish we were and this
It's a long way down
It's a long way down

When I'm with you I want forever 
When I'm with you I want out
When I'm with you I am quite certain
When I'm with you I have doubt
(but I love you like bloodwine) 

© Kay Irvin

Old Souls

Love is ... fragile as a whisper
Love is ... haunting as soft, first glimpse
Intense as complete possession
Vulnerable as it's immense

Carried across distance and time
Old souls, the other half, twin flame
Exquisite sense often followed
Oh, but now the one has a name

I know the hurt was worth the wait
Watching couples go enraptured
I felt invisible to love
But you found, you see, I'm captured

Love is ... fragile as a whisper
Love is ... haunting as soft, first glimpse
Intense as complete possession
Vulnerable as it's immense

Love is ... you
Love is ... you
Every part of you
I love

© Kay Irvin

Innamorare

With a wink, you shake my pain's rust
With a touch, you remove my scars
And turn it all to silver dust
Thrown to the universe for stars

I don't know how you do it
Picking flowers where shadows fall
Take my tears and make diamonds
With a glance, break down every wall

I know that I could be detrimental to your world
But you run circles 'round my excuses to let you in
It's a heady feeling, wanting more than I deserve
You make it easy for me to allow the draw and rush

(to fall in love)
(to fall in love)

You cast my fears off with a kiss
You keep the jackals bound by chains
Decorate old Hell with new bliss
Seduce like absinthe and champagnes

I don't know how you do it
Picking flowers where shadows fall
Take my tears and make diamonds
With a glance, break down every wall

I know that I could be detrimental to your world
But you run circles 'round my excuses to let you in
It's a heady feeling, wanting more than I deserve
You make it easy for me to allow the draw and rush

(to fall in love)
(to fall in love)

© Kay Irvin

Muse

You tempt me with your smile
Write poetry with your sighs
Paint my eyes, you're versatile
Roused my sleeping butterflies
(never felt this before)
(never knew I wanted to)

Wanna disappear
Inside you, again and again
And never let this fire end
Not touch, not hear, not know anything else
Only how much you mean to me
What I've prayed for, what I've ached for
You have awakened
Don't you know love awaits epiphany?

You need to understand
A Muse can be inspired too
I'm just like clay in your hand
Sculpt my heart for only you
(never felt this before)
(never knew I wanted to)

Wanna disappear
Inside you, again and again
And never let this fire end
Not touch, not hear, not know anything else
Only how much you mean to me
What I've prayed for, what I've ached for
You have awakened
Don't you know love awaits epiphany?

A million kisses wouldn't be enough
'Cause only more love heals this bleeding love

(I wanna burn with you)
(Into the ethereal)

(I wanna burn with you)
(Into the ethereal)

© Kay Irvin

~ did a bit of a tilt on this one
A Muse can inspire ... But also be inspired

Unrequited

Can't imagine you'd deny me
Can't let myself fall to despair
I believe in happy endings
Just want the start to find you care

Enable me to come closer
Hypnotic, you're drug in my veins
And no, there can't be another
Or nothing left of me remains

Unrequited, unrequited (love)
So excited for the chance
You'll put me above (the rest)
Unrequited, unrequited (love)
Darling, ignited in trance
You're all I think of (my quest)

You're an angel, I'm your devil
Thinking of you explicitly
Touch, feeling your breath on my neck
Holding you, tasting, heavenly

Your name is honey on my tongue
An indulgence and I repeat
Within my slow dreams and soft moans
A fever,... salt, sweat, dripping sweet

Unrequited, unrequited (love)
So excited for the chance
You'll put me above (the rest)
Unrequited, unrequited (love)
Darling, ignited in trance
You're all I think of (my quest)

© Kay Irvin

Saudade

Tell me your fears
And I'll tell you mine
Watch the sunset
Bleeding love streaks 
Across the skyline

Dear, hold your breath
Make wishes, then sleep
Dream of me, there
My tender touch
Yours to ever keep

We are apart
But my presence stays
And when night comes
Feel me with you
As the moonlight plays

Time is lonely
My empty bed waits
For your safe arms
For your exhale
As each wish creates

Love that remains, always
Love always remains

© Kay Irvin

Limerence

Love sends out but does not come back
And a restless mind cannot sleep,
As the night and darkest places,
- everything goes black

The need to make you feel
The need to make it real
- may take you by surprise
It's a long time coming,
For this devoted, lovelorn Soul

You don't know what it's like
To watch the one you love
- love someone else
You don't know what it's like
To live so intensely
- lost within love, itself

I can't focus, nothing is clear 
And the days seem smothered by cold,
As the Winter blankets the ground, 
- the world could disappear

The need to have you see
The need to have you be
- the one who fills this void
It's all that matters now,
For this devoted, lovelorn Soul 

You don't know what it's like
To watch the one you love
- love someone else
You don't know what it's like
To live so intensely
- lost within love, itself

Take my heart, all of me
You've already stolen my Soul
And love is slowly killing me
But I just can't let go

© Kay Irvin

note:
Many things interest me and I write about
all sorts of things; hauntings, ghosts, vampires, werewolves, dark, gothic, nightmares (often) ...
wolves (definitely) ...
And (in reference to) likes/beliefs/old ways; nature, night time, weather, Wiccan, the elements, seasons ...
And emotions; love, anger, rage, sadness
and hurt - some from myself but also
from what others discuss, or from music,
artwork and movies. (a bit of everything)
But I also sometimes write about things
in relation to kind of physcological topics;
depression, rumination ... Limerence
A sunny, Summer, butterflies & glitter gal,
I'm not. :)
There's a great article on 'Limerence'
and I want to share the link because it,
(and the person who wrote it) can explain
it far better than I could.
~ Thanks

http://bthaw.blogspot.com/2011/08/guide-to-limerence.html?m=1

Nightfall

When will this long Summer end?
The sunlight has not been a friend
I wait for darkness,... to descend

In the stillness 
In the shadows
There is a truth
When hurry slows
Pale, distant lights
Soft wind may call
But just a name
Into nightfall

Pictures and memories burn
They've taken enough, had their turn
Something new is easy to yearn

Time passed, still much is ahead 
It won't own me or be mislead 
When only a whisper's been said

I'll be here, when echoes come through,
Without fear, as the seasons change
I'll be closer to finding you

In the stillness 
In the shadows
There is a truth
When hurry slows
Pale, distant lights
Soft wind may call
But just a name
Into nightfall

© Kay Irvin

Embraced

Bound to thee, bound beneath the new moon
By four directions, four elements
We enter this soul dance, sacred rune

Among fire, water, earth and air
This beginning ends our wandering
So mote it be - Lord, Lady ... declare

And I give you my heart completely
I give you all I am and shall be
Darkness, love and light, I bind to thee

Wrists and ribbons, do not separate
Each to the other, now,... we are one
Vow, promised circle, we dedicate

Kindred ritual knows no sever
Blessed, in perfect love and perfect trust
One year, one day, unto forever

And I give you my heart completely
I give you all I am and shall be
Darkness, love and light, I bind to thee

We honor what death, itself, will never take
(Embraced)

© Kay Irvin