Liaison

Full, white, satin moon
Hanging high and bright
Owls heard, wings rustle
Presence, out of sight
Heaviness drapes tale
Like a veil that's cut from a black lace night

Oh, his eyes have wandered 
Oh, soft lies have pondered
-- a liaison, which would split us apart 

And I'll hear it in his voice
And I'll smell it on his flesh
And I'll feel it with his hand
-- pulse and tempo as to thresh

Myrrh and cypress burn
And the room grows dense
Music plays, oppressed
As the mood flows tense
All we seek to do
Cues, not without the coil of consequence

Oh, his lust has taken
Oh, love has forsaken
-- a liaison, which would split us apart 

And I'll hear it in his voice
And I'll smell it on his flesh
And I'll feel it with his hand
-- pulse and tempo as to thresh

Oh, time stays unspoken
Oh, gaze not yet broken
But it weighs as it splays 
-- a liaison, which will split us apart 

© Kay Irvin

Autumn Love

Bright romance was a waste of time and cruel
One sided light to catch
One way compromise by its rule
But I refuse to chase

When you've known love to only palace scars
You need someone the same
To open and release the stars
Dark romance, tears, embrace 

Tortured souls with tormented charms
Be welcomed place mid sheltered arms
And within our darkness, we have come home

Autumn eyes, whose changing colors collide
Are seasoned with struggle
Stormy depths to get lost inside
Familiar with refrain

Deep kisses, hungry with a hint to bleed
Are less about the want
And so much more about the need
Unabridged, starved by pain

Tortured souls with tormented charms
Be welcomed place mid sheltered arms
And within our darkness, love has come home

Always outside, while others held the Spring
Always outside, while Summer singe would sting
But now, doors invite us for everything

Tortured souls with tormented charms
Be welcomed place mid sheltered arms
And within our darkness, love has come home

© Kay Irvin

Maze

How is it we've tried for close but end with far?
This and we've hardly challenged the odds to win
Maybe, the middle is where we made a start
Seems passion passed and we never settled in

You know so little, I try but answers bend
Around the corner, then they're gone and I chase
Lost, the hazy night is cold without your tend
No hand to guide, to assure reach and embrace

Shadows fall, hide and seek play beneath faint moon
My eyes are tired, as with every, heavy step
This laden path coils vague but its clear be soon
As exit's shown, its loss leads, none to forget

All I know is this tremendous love I hold
Wanted to give itself, entirely to you
But you wouldn't take, didn't want, didn't need
There's a hole in my heart, where chance could have filled
But whose course would only have this love to bleed

© Kay Irvin

Slow Burn

Oh, your words land a sting
I denied what you said
It took awhile to ring
Over and over
Again and again
Telling me everything

In the moment, was numb
Clambering for love's need
Though it would never come
It became surreal
Inevitable
Singe would have me succumb

And there's a slow burn in my heart
I can feel you depart (from me)
How much more time is left?
How long will it be?
You're dragging it out
If you're bound to leave
End this misery (set us free)
Dying love is slow burn

Once, as close as we were
Thought it was forever
Tomorrow, nothing's sure
The hourglass breaks
Sand blows to the wind
Fragments, when love was pure

Oh, your words land a sting
I denied what you said
It took awhile to ring
Over and over
Again and again
Telling me everything

And there's a slow burn in my heart
I can feel you depart (from me)
How much more time is left?
How long will it be?
You're dragging it out
If you're bound to leave 
End this misery (set us free)
Dying love is slow burn

© Kay Irvin

And Then There's Honesty

I'm slow to trust
But love too hard
Intense with care
And that can leave a scar
When someone disappears

Want to believe
Hold back, instead
Front with a smile
With chaos in my head
Damage, ruins from the years

If love would fight for me
I would never let go
This much I know

Can't still the pain
Can't kill the past
I get depressed
Can true bond really last?
To me, it's a riddle 

Hope has its guard
Reach has resist
I try to try
But dark places exist
I battle the middle

If love would fight for me
I would never let go
This much I know

© Kay Irvin

Summer Threnody

Summer romance, be what it may
Sun shines down but can never stay
Leaves fall crisp as the ground turns cold
Burgundies sail, magentas sweep
Birds nestle sleep in beds made of gold

Less and less, he might ask about me
But I tell him what he wants to hear
It shows, we're going through the motions
Emotions sear
Time knows his care hasn't been sincere

Seasons move, seasons lose
Sometimes seem lost
As some lovers do
Autumn arias trace
Maybe there's place
To be found
Mid the fall
With a love who can give all
(as I have, as I would)

Sunburst and bright beauty won't last
That first chill in the air sends cast
There's certain bittersweet appeal
When sunlit reverie goes dark
I'd rather part and find something real

More and more, he's not here, by my side
And I accept it's not meant to be
Promises broke and wishes depart
His heart left me
Sure as Summer fades, comes threnody

Seasons move, seasons lose
Sometimes seem lost
As some lovers do
Autumn arias trace
Maybe there's place
To be found
Mid the fall
With a love who can give all
(as I have, as I would)

© Kay Irvin

A Pitiful Shame

Hell hath no fury
But desire knows no mercy
Loyalty knows no end
Like a woman who fiercely loves
And is truly loved in return
You're turning her away
And that's a pitiful shame

Some past woman did you some wrongs
She's gone but you won't let her go
I've tried to be understanding
You're not giving me a place to grow

If you're not talking about her
You pine, she's your uncertain mood
Fear in your eyes, pause of your voice
Where I know thoughts of me score exclude

I want to give love and you a chance
But you're still hung up on what's over
A past lover, who doesn't love you
We're all passing ships, misdirected,
Mixed signals and it's all for nothing
We always end up back here, my Dear,
No one's in love, no one's being loved
(And that's a pitiful shame)

You say you have feelings for me
You sure the Hell don't show it much
Gone when I need, need but refuse
Fade into your own world and lose touch

It's not as though I'm unshattered
You should be strength for me but - no
For too long, I've been strong for two
And I'm through propping up your ego

Time dies, I won't wait to be loved
I'm not a filler for your ex,
Not a showmance, while your wounds purge,
Not a way station for what comes next

I want to give love and you a chance
But you're still hung up on what's over
A past lover, who doesn't love you
We're all passing ships, misdirected,
Mixed signals and it's all for nothing
We always end up back here, my Dear,
No one's in love, no one's being loved
(And that's a pitiful shame)

When I'm gone, will you cry out my name,
Beat your chest and curse your ragged heart,
Languish as you've done for your old flame,
Who crept your nerve and kept us apart?

Somehow, I bet it won't be the same
You didn't invest yourself in me
(And Baby, that's a pitiful shame)
When I'm gone, will you cry out my name?

Hell hath no fury
But desire knows no mercy
Loyalty knows no end
Like a woman who fiercely loves
And is truly loved in return
You're turning her away
And that's a pitiful shame

© Kay Irvin

Sobriquet

Easily, you could have been my whole world
And as a ribbon,
I would have unfurled ... so deep inside

I wanted to know all the shades of you
-- Submerged, happily,...
Taken by the overwhelming tide

You would only avow me to the edge
I could only beg, helpless, on the ledge
Knowing what we should be but kept at bay
You've made it clear, reflecting my worst fear
Quelled by love's Heartbreaker, into the gray

I've watched what colors others share, bursting
-- The adoring red,
Sepia care, trusting glints of gold

Their arms entangled, exchanging glances,
Private, warm dances,
Meant for them but not for me to hold

You would only avow me to the edge
I could only beg, helpless, on the ledge
Knowing what we should be but kept at bay
You've made it clear, reflecting my worst fear
Quelled by love's Heartbreaker, into the gray

You, my Heartbreaker,...
Loveless wins, there's no prismatic array
-- Lost ... into the gray

~ Sobriquet; (nickname)
Heartbreaker

© Kay Irvin

Cruel Love

And isn't that how it always seems to be;
About the time you start thinking, 'maybe' 
- is about the time they start backing away.

All relationships start with fire and settle some ... but not dwindle so much that an extremely tiny whimper of a spark would seem fascinating.
And especially when a relationship ends before its had a fair chance to begin.

It can cause more than heartbreak,
more accurately - damage, when people come on with intensity but don't mean it.
It isn't that hard for a person to be honest from the start and not lead another on with amorous convictions, when they lack the grit to follow through.

This is the side of love ... that's cruel

© Kay Irvin

The Flowers Have Died

I made you a crown from my future
Burned my past to fight shy of compare
Gave you a garden to palace love
Braved the waywardness you chose to wear

You lamented immortal passion
A ballad-bliss with a poet's breath
But when it was right in front of you
Your indifferent heart bid its death

I would have done anything for you
And I would have draped you in flowers
What could have been - withered to nothing
You wished it away, wasted the hours
(now, the flowers have died)

I built you an altar for romance
Gilt with the splendour of early Spring
But you never placed care or keepsake
You had not an offering to bring

I would have done anything for you
And I would have draped you in flowers
What could have been - withered to nothing
You wished it away, wasted the hours
(now, the flowers have died)

Is it the Melancholy you were after ...
To speak of shattered attempts and how you've cried?
How will those words taste, knowing what you denied?
(now, the flowers have died)
(now, the flowers have died)

© Kay Irvin

Indigo

Tossing, turning, sleep eludes me
All I think of is indigo
And with that, my mind is racing
Restless thoughts have nothing else to know
(but your sweet love)

Your hands, your dulcet fingertips
My skin keeps constant memory
How powerless I am with you
Blue room, blue eyes, bluer than the sea

Reliving each moment, last with you
How your body commands, pleads and moves
Breathy, risqué echoes haunt with hue

Rain's tapping outside the window
Leaves and branches flash, rapping slow
Night rumbles after lightning's glow
Restless thoughts have nothing else to know
(but your sweet love)

And I feel you within the thunder
I can't escape this spell I'm under
(my indigo)
Your love completely captivates me
Blue room, blue eyes, bluer than the sea
(my indigo)

© Kay Irvin

Winter Spell

So many people, so many promises
So many lies, when they all swore they would stay
I've been disillusioned, yet fell, overtaken
Hoping against hope they wouldn't go away

Frost on encounters, frost on hands that make reach
Could it be to belong or am I snow blind?
Icicles and prisms bewitch with visions
But are cold to the depths, disguised as designed

I want today, tomorrow and forever
I need to believe 'neath this Winter white spell
Feel a warmth I've never had or imagined
Sweep over me, melt this iced fear that befell

Shatter this atmosphere that courses my blood
Smash and free, give to me - endless, burning love

New Winter tale
Winter spell (our love)
Icicles and prisms bewitch with visions
Our own world (our love)
New Winter tale
Winter spell (our amazing love)

© Kay Irvin

Bloodwine

You don't seek to know me
Convinced that you perceive me well
I try getting closer
Your icy distance burns like Hell

I love you like bloodwine
But you turn on like lemonade
Sugar-sour tease with sting
Who wrecks my mind like a grenade

When I'm with you I want forever 
When I'm with you I want out
When I'm with you I am quite certain
When I'm with you I have doubt
(but I love you like bloodwine) 

In so many ways I attempt to need 
Frustration is aware I'm crushing deep
I know I may not return from the break
If illusion is enamoured to leap
It's a long way down
It's a long way down
Torn between what I wish we were and this
It's a long way down
It's a long way down

When I'm with you I want forever 
When I'm with you I want out
When I'm with you I am quite certain
When I'm with you I have doubt
(but I love you like bloodwine) 

© Kay Irvin

Pretty Lies

Over and over, time wastes away
I wait, only to - not hear from you
I only pretend
You say you want to be in my life
We're both going through things hard to take
And both need a friend

Again, you make us a guessing game
Will you be here or will you retreat?
I count on you, then the floor shatters
You're all in, then none of it matters
Lying to yourself, lying to me
Pretty lies that crumble, bittersweet

I reach out for arms that don't exist 
My words go out to an empty room
- a silent reply
I want to believe your convictions
You play to my vulnerable side
- only to deny

Again, you make us a guessing game
Will you be here or will you retreat?
I count on you, then the floor shatters
You're all in, then none of it matters
Lying to yourself, lying to me
Pretty lies that crumble, bittersweet

The day's coming and I won't be here
And you won't let me down anymore
All, what we could have is collapsing
Broken hearts, love crashing through the floor

© Kay Irvin

Lodestar

As the moondust, shimmering
Ethereal, maddening
- houses such unsung longing
(you lead desire)

Cold world, chilled memories
Billow through the brimming trees
But thoughts of you warm and tease
(unhad fire)

Starlight come, fill my body
Guide my wait, craving,... tell me
(oh, bring it true)
Would you quiver with my touch?
Could you ever want me as much
(- as I do you?)
(- as I do you?)

Am I hopeless, am I wrong
- to ache for something so strong?
Is your heart where I belong?
(oh, do I dare?)

I've gone to the edge and leapt
And that's where this course has kept
Please, say you'll love me to death
(take all mine, there)

Starlight come, fill my body
Guide my wait, craving,... tell me
(oh, bring it true)
Would you quiver with my touch?
Could you ever want me as much
(- as I do you?)
(- as I do you?)

Dust and starlight, loving you
Dust and starlight, loving you

© Kay Irvin

Autumn Woman

She gives you a wink with a soft smile
And you feel as though she's grabbed
something in you, some place deep inside you
- that's been sleeping for a long time
A curious magnet, drawing you, pulling you
... close to her
You're only too happy to be taken

She makes you weak
Hot, bats in the stomach, quivering weak
And you go dizzy when you think of
- how much
- how hard you've fallen in love with her
She sees through each and every facade
- that you could invent
She crumbles the walls
Any excuse to avoid her charm
... goes out the window
You're only too willing to be consumed

You would be devastated to see her cry,
... which won't be often, because she's fire
There's a flame within her ... and she burns
- Like the bursting colors of Autumn leaves

She's not the bright, bubbly, Summer girl type
- Bouncing, clubbing, laughing
Omitting a fragrance of fake bouquets,
... cheap liqueur and of stale, men's cologne,
... from the couple dozen guys
- that she flirtatiously rubbed against
Odds are;
You'd be drunk on fantasy
Getting off - on a high maintenance illusion
Puking your regret by morning
You'd only be a shiny, new toy,
... 'til your party girl tires of her plaything
And with this, you're only too sickened
... by how true you know it is

But not the Autumn Woman
- (no competition, no comparison) -
The Autumn Woman
No,...
She's not all used up and spent out
She is different
The one you would kill to keep and protect
Her flaws make her perfect
The real deal
Reclusive, resilient and beautifully dangerous
She's the kind that'll drive you mad
~ A trembling, euphoric, slow moan,
... 'Say my name' sort of madness ~
The forever love, mutual-worship lover
The fever you can't get out your head,
... because she owns your heart and soul
Intense, strong, relentless
When she looks at you,
... you're the only person in the world
And that's a powerful hook, like a spell
She dresses in black [it's her armour]
But she wears it like a gown made of night
Her lipstick kisses are like
... lovely, dark, crushed cherries
And she tastes like warm sugar
Her shy ways can turn risqué
And you really adore how that turns you on
She smells like dreams and sex and magic
In the purest form, the sweetest honesty

Her come-hither heels can bring you
- to your knees
But her tender touch lifts you to Heaven
And she cradles your insecurities,
... like an Angel, wrapping 'round you
- with black wings

© Kay Irvin

Candy Wrapper

I don't want a man, sugar-sweet
Making love a game,... trick, no treat

Don't flirt with the idea of having a relationship with me,
especially for the (unspoken but thought of)
selfish reasoning,... that I'll occupy your amusement
until something better crosses your path

Don't dress romance up, to the nines, using poetic sway
to reference all things delish ... 
- Then, decide to pull back, change the topic, joke off anything
even remotely serious and starve my appetite for affection
until (if/when) you make up your damn mind

Don't make me believe in us having a chance
- Then, pine about some other girl you're not over
I'm not an option for you to keep in limbo,
while you emotionally disconnect from a past partner
We all eventually mention a former boyfriend/girlfriend
but ... I don't want to hear about her,
on and on and yawn and yawn

Forget the gingeryhot, mating ritual if you only plan to
retreat when I actually call your bluff with the grit
to take you up on it

Succulent time will be a waste
If I won't ever get a taste

© Kay Irvin

Collide

I don't want meaningless, something on the side
Give intense, infatuation, never tried
Ergo, yes or go, no between, justified
Feel you burn my bones, my blood, fire deep inside
Collide ... (into me, into you) ... love-collide

Straight on, not turning away, soul unafraid
And I expect the same honesty be made
No excuses, love shouldn't struggle or fade
We lose,... if you choose rapture but then evade

Mad-magic-love,... hot, raw, real, awake, alive
Collide ... (into me, into you) ... love-collide

I'm cynical to believe, too tired to play
If you can't give it all you've got,... walk away
But please, prove me wrong (stay), please, prove me wrong (stay)
Does that ever-after exist, dare I pray?

Mad-magic-love,... hot, raw, real, awake, alive
Collide ... (into me, into you) ... love-collide

© Kay Irvin

Bloodrush

I cannot be -just- your friend
It's gone too far
My heart has invested itself to be your lover
And you have crept into my most private thoughts
However destructive, risqué, crestfallen,...dark
- You didn't turn away
And that's a turn on
I want to know all of you
I want every part of you
Not some lustsick, drama-romance rendezvous
- That swells and bursts into flames 
... then withers to ash
Let me kiss you
Kiss me back
Want me, need me
Let me be ... 'the one'
I love you
You drive me mad
Love me back 
Fury and everlasting fire
Burning
Touch me and feel my bloodrush rouse for you
I'm yours
And you belong to me

© Kay Irvin

Underground Love

I took reality
Swallowed it down
Wasn't workin' for me
I got lost but was found
(underground)

Fittin' in, I declined
Overrated
Dizzying ... but my mind
Isn't obligated
(sedated)

I'm such romantic dreg
Wanting your smile
Baby, you think I'll beg? 
You'll be waitin' awhile.
(beguiled)

Yes, societal shock
Yes, I could have kissed you 
With familiar, tickling nag
Lurking secret places  
Where you deny being turned on
You so know I recognized it
Causing your sleeping nerves to twitch
You liked it, too much,... Yes, the touch
Pullin' you close to my black heart
You felt your senses swell and drown
What dark temptations could have been
(Yes, unbound)
(underground)

[you wouldn't have me, unsunny kind of love]

© Kay Irvin