Winter Heart

As the snowflakes pirouette
How could I forget
Everything you said
Words come back at me
Flying in my face
Stinging and burning
Ice shards, thorned kisses
And love is breaking
(I can feel you slip away)

As diamonds sleep untouched snow
Grays keep ten below
Beautifully tragic
Winter magic bleak
Bittersweet-frozen
Our last memory
Bad destroyed the good
And love is breaking
(Can you feel me slip away?)

I wonder,... Winter heart,... in this cold wonderland
Can you feel me slip away?

(c) Kay Irvin

My Gothic Romance

The music is in my head
Notes, alive, somehow survived
And melodies ... all but dead
Your eyes know much is unsaid
... but you love me, nonetheless
With a love, I thought was hopeless ... and wishful thinking

Past statues and blossom vine
Is a black heart's valentine
Past the concrete jungle walls
Past the wooded, wolfen calls
You lift me from the darkness
Into floating, free falling, spinning
But safe,... landing,... held ... within your arms
Our courtyard dance,... My Gothic Romance

In a world so afraid
Just going through the motions
Heavy footsteps, sorrow weighed
Cradlesong and masquerade
... but you love my dreams awake
With a love that takes ... me ... to a castle in the air

Past statues and blossom vine
Is a black heart's valentine
Past the concrete jungle walls
Past the wooded, wolfen calls
You lift me from the darkness
Into floating, free falling, spinning
But safe,... landing,... held ... within your arms
Our courtyard dance,... My Gothic Romance

I have you, you have me
That's all we ever need

(c) Kay Irvin

No One, Nothing

Your sharp judgement can wield like a knife
Now, it doesn't apply to my life
I'm no one, nothing

Your blame has selective memory
Your love draped a black veil over me
No one, nothing

You made a choice, decided I'm not here
Banished, dead from your world, it's done
I'm nothing, no one
And no,... I won't let you have it both ways
Beckon me back for more hurt, stabbing
I'm no one, nothing

Your mood can feel like a block of ice
I would care but I'm all out of nice
No one, nothing

Your blame has selective memory
Your love draped a black veil over me
No one, nothing

Don't you see?
(no one, nothing)
(no one, nothing)

(c) Kay Irvin

Darkly Quill

(Darkly quill)
Nothing comforts darkness more than darkness

Curves,... lines and veins, sepia dreams (dreary-starred)
Inkwell,... flesh and canvas, Gothic avant-garde
A portrait composed, blackness upon the quill

Isn't it too real? (too much reality)
How the profound, chambered confusion can kill
(Deeply) ... not meant to be split second-sated
Beyond an instant, weighted, fated long feel

(Darkly quill)
Nothing comforts darkness more than darkness

Vellum scrolls lay, morose eloquence unfurls
Creeping, note beats blot paper with sable pearls
Melancholia, blackness upon the quill

Isn't it too real? (too much reality)
How the profound, chambered confusion can kill
(Deeply) ... not meant to be split second-sated
Beyond an instant, weighted, fated long feel

(Darkly quill)
Nothing comforts darkness more than darkness

(c) Kay Irvin

... for Edgar Allan Poe
And also for all the Dark/Gothic writers
Of Lyrics, Poetry and Music

Live With This

I wanted to light a candle for you
Instead, for love, I lit two
For your heart's return
For your soul to yearn
As once was
Then I watched the pillars burn
(to darkness)

I waited for you but you let me down
You were somewhere on the town
In the bustling lies
With the hustling eyes
As you wish
And I said quiet goodbyes
(final time)
(unrequited)

Tomorrow will come but I won't be here
It's my turn to disappear
And you can wonder and you can hunger
For what you had,... when it's gone
(feel ... unacknowledged,... settled on)
For what you had,... what you'll miss
(feel ... unsatisfied,... live with this)
Live with this

(c) Kay Irvin

Ankh (A Vampire's Dream)

Oceans of time
Everlasting
(oceans of time)

Nightfall, my home
Day be the spade
Sunrise, sunset
To evening shade
As the crow flies
Black as his breast
'Neath is heartbeat
Mine cannot nest

Oceans of time
Everlasting
(oceans of time)

Life blood, light dreams
Shan't meet or save
This empty soul
Immortal, grave
Yet, sharing hush
Glint gathering
Undamned and free
As the crow's wing

Oceans of time
Everlasting
(oceans of time)

I will search for you, my love

My course is straight
As the crow flies
I will search for you, my love

Oceans of time
Everlasting
(oceans of time)

(c) Kay Irvin

Samhain Night

At last I see you
You see me
Though end of us came to be
Separated by two paths
We follow
As the bewitching hollow of the deep woods rustle
- Autumn leaves crackling, tumbling
Farther and farther (apart)
Samhain Night, and only a veil of souls fall between

Tree limbs cascade hands
Outstretched cling
Their bony, mangled arms swing
Tangled branches dance, descend
For to cloak
As chimney smoke floats across the scarecrow and haystacks
Jackal eyes gaze and flicker
Watching, waiting, debating
When, what way, how to haunt you
Burning through with memory

At last I see you
You see me
Though end of us came to be
Samhain Night, and only a veil of souls fall between

Jackal eyes gaze and flicker
Eerie candle wicks whisper
Once there was a brighter side
Love is pain,... a pitch heart bide
Samhain Night, and so I bring thee dwell of darkly dreams
Samhain Night, and only a veil of souls fall between

(c) Kay Irvin

Love Blues

Time had froze over, dimmed by fears
Many, many depressing tears
If you could hear me now, you'd laugh
- With an icy expression cross your face
I gave way too much, like a fool
Love blues, paid my dues, you lived to be cruel
(love blues, paid my dues, your love lived to be cruel)

I've grown wiser with soulful eyes
Seen some youth go ... on you, unwise
You won't ever hurt me again
I could never be enough, good enough
I tried way too hard, like a fool
Love blues, paid my dues, you lived to be cruel
(love blues, paid my dues, your love lived to be cruel)

I'm done (wishing for caring views)
Chiseled out, sculptured as I choose
Sooooo ... moving on (learn), note to self
Don't find you in anyone else
I've wept my last, it thaws a pool
Tears at my feet, I wasn't only fool
You threw me away, Winter heart, too cool
Love blues, when alive ... your love lived to be cruel

Love blues
I'm done, I'm done
Let it be the past
Love blues
I'm done, I'm done
Let it be the last
Love blues

(c) Kay Irvin

Lycanthrope

The intruder's coming
Carnivore, I'm learning
Muscles and nerves drumming
Edgy, speeding, burning
Turning
Turning

Feed,... feast 'til ache is quenched
Hunger's all that matters
Distorted fix is clenched
Jaws, fangs, claws, pangs shatter
Splatter
Splatter

Fallen eyes lock lone reflection
Something of stunning connection
To recognize the familiar
And stranger, in me, is living
Will the sunrise be forgiving?
Forgive
Forgive
(forgive me,... beast I see)

There is no mask to fake
No Autumn trick or treat
When nemesis finds wake
And full moon throws white heat
Must eat
Must eat
(until the hunger's fed)
(blood-red, blood-red, blood-red)

Fallen eyes lock lone reflection
Something of stunning connection
To recognize the familiar
And stranger, in me, is living
Will the sunrise be forgiving?
Forgive
Forgive
(forgive me,... beast I see)

... Forgive me

(c) Kay Irvin

Lovecrafter

First impressions, I've heard, can overwhelm
Never felt it but now I understand
Lovecrafter, Spellcaster, come craft my love
It's yours, I'm yours, in the palm of your hand

Court me with hyacinth, gothic romance
Just like 'Morrison' said,... "love me twofold"
By the way, you look amazing in black
You are a thing of beauty to behold

I've always had a darker side
Give me Halloween and some 'Poe'
It might be your 'Raven' tattoo
But I want you,... wrapped in a (black) bow

I would put you, up on a pedestal
You've taken 'Dracula' out of my sight
I'm harmless as a newborn (wolf) baby
I might nibble your neck ... but I won't bite

We can have a chalice, filled with fire
We can share an absinthe hearth and dance floor
A night owl keeps asking me heartbreak's name
With your wink,... Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore"

I've always had a darker side
Give me Halloween and some 'Poe'
It might be your 'Raven' tattoo
But I want you,... wrapped in a (black) bow

Lovecrafter, Spellcaster
Dreamweaver, Soulstealer

(c) Kay Irvin

For: all the Gentlemen (with a dark side)
xxx
;)

Datura

Your heart, your dreams ... (lamb), you give so willing
Your book of shadows and darkly quill did wing invite
Grimoire scribe sought a dark lover, thrilling
- Chilling disenchantment away,... (Mistress of the night)

Starry eyes are watching, moonblood drips slow
Wolf song strikes furious to a witches' brew (lament)
And her black gown turns the corner chateau
Was she really there, where petals cradle nightwish scent?

Pale moonflower, as alabaster stone
You've long hallucinated her deadly desire
Intoxicated (never be alone)
Crepuscule muse,... and vespertine presence can inspire

Your heart, your dreams ... (lamb), you give so willing
Your book of shadows and darkly quill did wing invite
Grimoire scribe sought a dark lover, thrilling
- Chilling disenchantment away,... (Mistress of the night)

She's narcotic nightwish, moondust Mistress
(lamb), taste evening fragrance with her kiss
(lamb), taste evening fragrance with her kiss

(c) Kay Irvin

Side note -
Datura 'Evening Fragrance'; vespertine flowering plant, known
As Angel's Trumpets, also sometimes called Moonflowers.
The (datura) white flowers bloom at night, unfurl slowly
And resemble the moon.
They have an intoxicating, narcotic (perfume) scent.
Datura belongs to the classic "witches' weeds," along with
Deadly Nightshade, Henbane and Mandrake.
Datura has been used as a poison and hallucinogen.
- An essential ingredient of love potions and witches' brews
[some research courtesy; wikipedia & the growers exchange]

Wallflowers

We join in for fun
Is this how it's done?
We're allowed part-time
They pick and choose prime
Nice,... they let us know
Where to meet, let's go
Countdown,... ill at ease
Wait,... wait-for-it ... please

Nudge, nudge, shoot a glance
Assumed,... we don't see
It's quite obvious
But we keep it on the QT
And we pretend stupidity
Numb IQ, (check), RSVP
And we pretend stupidity
They condescend, WTV
Anything ... to take their minds off
Their own misery
And misery loves company
They're there, they're there, they're there, they're there
(and misery loves company)
They love to drama up (despair)
They're there, they're there, they're there, they're there

Forget it, relax
Soon, we'll turn our backs
When we leave the room
Shredding can resume
How we dress and look
How we live or cook
What we say and think
Think I need a drink

And run, screaming into the night

Calling on Wallflowers
Rally underdogs
The awkward are cool
Make it our time,... the status quo
Calling on Wallflowers
Rally underdogs
Break every rule
Sideline, social dance,... golden glow

(c) Kay Irvin

Dartmoor

A train from London will be here soon
Hooded coach drivers wait, station bound
Arriving passengers number few
Macabre yarns have spun about a hound

The foggy moors are unforgiving
For any wanderer left to night
The house beacon, on the hill, is far
Wailing wind sends ... like briars in flight

Now that dusk is upon us,... listen
'Tis christen louder than steeple bells
Dead of Winter approaches swiftly
As twin daggers, whose fangs slay noels

There is a curse that must be knotted
Moors to the doors of Baskerville Hall
Bloody crux too shall pass with ending
And ghastly landscapes will lastly call

The foggy moors are unforgiving
For any wanderer left to night
The house beacon, on the hill, is far
Wailing wind sends ... like briars in flight

(c) Kay Irvin

For/about: "The Hound of the Baskervilles"
by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
[a Sherlock Holmes - Dr. Watson mystery]
Set on Dartmoor, Devon, in England's West Country

Violet

Lilac and lavender
Purple, pale scarlet with blue
Watercolor windows
Black nails, clove pink lace stockings
Every season's good

And storm clouds make her smile
Hot chocolate cup, double cream
The mirror needs design
Paintbrush, slash a self-portrait
Whose details are withdrawn

Lilac and lavender
Purple, pale scarlet with blue
Watercolor windows
Doll face makeup, black star eyes
Smudge, how she sees herself

By and by, emo, shy
When the looking-glass is dry
Veracious take, vignette
Violet, in violet
Sobriquet, silhouette
(Violet, in violet)

(c) Kay Irvin

Violet - (shrinking violet); as ... a painfully shy person

Black Sun

Nothing turns out the way you think it will (hope it will)
When it burns out, nothingness is what you feel (and feel)
It doesn't seem real
The torment that numbs everything except for tears
I wanna be small, crawl in a hole and disappear
'Til the next light year

Another person, another heartbreak ... stacks the mourn
Crooked shapes tarry, each carry their own crown of thorns

Why go out, why look outside, where taunting shadows run?
Got to reevaluate what trust and love has done
Black sun, my black sun, my black sun

See no, hear no, speak no evil ... is what people say
Beware some manipulators, mind-gamers will play
Snuffing out the day
I am the dark horse, branded and banished from their midst
Their long shadows move on, like I never did exist
Crossed off "include" list

Why go out, why look outside, where taunting shadows run?
Got to reevaluate what trust and love has done
Black sun, my black sun, my black sun

In a perfect world, they wouldn't push buttons,... although,
Where's the fun in that? - Who would stroke their bloated ego?
Kill the scapegoat slow

(Step back and let this sink in good)
(It is what it is, understood)

Another person, another heartbreak ... stacks the mourn
Crooked shapes tarry, each carry their own crown of thorns
Got to let their deeds tell the truth and shame the devil
Lest rays of gray trickle in and those shadows revel

Why go out, why look outside, where taunting shadows run?
Got to reevaluate what trust and love has done
Black sun, my black sun, my black sun

(be strong, soon be dawn)
(new dawn, black sun gone)

(c) Kay Irvin

Cotton Candy

Blame it on the warm breeze blowin' his hair
The midway booths couldn't keep my interest
Yes, it was just mighty fair

Metallic axles were hummin', grindin'
One last ride on the neon Ferris wheel
Anticipation's climbin'

(I want us to be alone, take me home)

He's a hazel-eyed devil ... still with wings
And when his blue-green changes like mood rings
His halo might be slipping
And he knows that's fine with me
His breath moans for love, calling me ... "darkling"
The death of Summer never tasted so good
Hot sugar, sticky fingers, cotton candy
(Cotton candy)

(He wants us to be alone, take me home)
(lane, porch lamps vine, can't wait to get inside)

Night gardenia, near the door, waves perfume
Blame his eager hands on misty moonlight
It brought his senses abloom

When he gently pins me against the wall
His arms tremble as his body presses
He knows he can have my all
(I know ... I can have his all)

He's a hazel-eyed devil ... still with wings
And when his blue-green changes like mood rings
His halo might be slipping
And he knows that's fine with me
His breath moans for love, calling me ... "darkling"
The death of Summer never tasted so good
Hot sugar, sticky fingers, cotton candy
(Cotton candy)

(our touch, heat-sweetened with each cherry kiss)
(whipped cream like heavenly clouds dissolving)
The death of Summer never tasted so good
Hot sugar, sticky fingers, cotton candy
(Cotton candy)

(c) Kay Irvin

This was written a little out of my comfort zone.
[that's why I wrote it & deep down, I'm a romantic]
But a single gal, on her birthday, can have a bit of fun.
So, adding this one as a post today.
Besides, that mystery man (with a dark side, just sayin')
Is a nice thought.
There's the Fair/Carnival, end of Summer, flowers & cotton candy
For scenery/season change ...
- The first slight hint & feel of Fall in the air.
xxx

Infinity

Your love is around me
My love is around you
Warm, halcyon belong
Melts the bitterness of when we each had no one

Your heart lives inside me
My heart lives inside you
With beat as fiery steeds
Pounding, revolving a light that can't be outrun

Now, no shroud can hinder the bright, rendering sun
No more lone, no more cold
Helios splashes gold
Circle unto circle

Your love is around me
My love is around you
(Always)

(c) Kay Irvin

Side Notes:

Infinity (symbol)

_______________________________
Helios - (Greek Mythology - God of the sun);
Drove his chariot, from the East to the West,
across the sky each day. His chariot was pulled
by "solar steeds" or "fire-darting steeds."

Ethereal

E-the-re-al
Falling in love, lifted to flight, finding (Euphoria)
It's all ahead of us

Let's hold this moment as long as we can
We won't be here again

E-the-re-al

Feel the rainy night move through our bodies
The angels are weeping
Their loud wings are restless
Spirited tears of happiness, earthbound

The sleepy candlelight is heavenly
Celestial confetti
Iridescent flame-drops
Imprinting memories' soft afterglow

E-the-re-al

High could die if we don't keep it alive
Remember this bliss, ethereal kiss

E-the-re-al
Falling in love, lifted to flight, finding (Euphoria)
It's all ahead of us

(c) Kay Irvin

Powder Blue

With everything, every time, you make me feel bad
With everything, every time, you make me feel sad
Only one fad remains profoundly true (you're into)

Every situation, every conversation
It's always about you
All, always about you
All, always about you

No matter how much I try, attempts go out in vain
I can't be part of your sunshine, your circle, your plane
You're harder on me ... more than you are ... anyone else
You're harder on me ... more than you are,... of yourself (of course)

(I guess) there's exclusive niche with elite, enlightened view
Made superbly for you
Whatever I say, whatever I think, pales powder blue
(topic twist, turn it 'round)
Until it's about you
All, always about you
All, always about you

And in my small mind, small life, small world,... (what a waste)
You're thrilled to take me down a notch and put me in my place

Whatever I say, whatever I think, pales powder blue
(topic twist, turn it 'round)
Until it's about you
All, always about you
All, always about you

(c) Kay Irvin

Pretty Baby

Kindness can be mistaken for weakness
Mindless neglect can laden uniqueness
Keep 'em guessing and never lose control
Creep 'em, pressing,... unnerve, muse, rock ... and roll
(Pretty Baby, I get you more than you know)
Live, learn, collapse, rise and rule pain's black hole
Magnetize me, pull me inside your soul
(Pretty Baby, I get you more than you know)

Open up an old wound, peel back the scar
Remember what it's gotten you so far
Mad-cool, beautiful, different,... that's fine
Perfect can be toxic as turpentine
(Pretty Baby, you are my sugar-high)
Damaged but love-delectable as wine
Advantaged, enigmatical, divine

Someone has a break because they've had
... to be strong for so long (on their own)

There is no maybe, my heart makes your throne
Pretty Baby, I won't let you be alone

Pretty Baby, I won't let you be alone

(c) Kay Irvin

~ Message ~

I've been away for a bit because I have moved from
California back to my home state of Oklahoma.
It was a long move and there were many things to do.
I'm happy to be out of California.
It just was never home to me. (I'll leave it at that)

Sorry that I haven't had any posts but I'll be adding
something in the next few days & more in the time ahead.

Thank you - for my friends/followers ~ everyone that's left
comments/feedback. I appreciate your consideration to visit.
I hope, in the future, those coming to this blog will find
something pleasing to read.

Enough from me ... more posts to come ... soon.

Love,
Kay

Carpe Diem (amare)

I could sit with what ifs, one thousand ways
Pine what could have been, as poignant portrays
(not in a million years)

I could parse down this opportunity
'Til gift of you twists with anxiety
(not in a million years)

Carpe diem (amare)
Crystal clear
You are near
Time is dear
Now and ... here

Opt in ... willing, acquiescent to tears
Be shackled by pause, imprisoned by fears
Never tilt view, never let life switch gears
(not in a million years)
(not in a million years)

Carpe diem (amare)
Crystal clear
You are near
Time is dear
Now and ... here

Not in a million years ... would I not
Seize the day (to love) ... you

(c) Kay Irvin


Translation (Latin):
Carpe diem - Seize the day
Amare - to love

Will-o'-the-Wisp

I do remember you,
Wandering a moonless Midnight and willow tree
We were forgotten apparitions left to roam
Do you remember me?

Old souls and ghostly light
We courted our thoughts, as bright rhapsody in dance
And the fearless minuet drew us deep inside
- Chance mystical romance

I circled your voice
It was an unyielding sound from some, distant room
Your touch found and woke my loveless, slumbering heart
- Chilled, silent as the tomb

Kindred spirits dare on,
As glowing flecks blowing, fog rolling to ignite
We rode stormy waves that would destroy dreaming
And held each other tight

Do you remember me,
From where the moonless Midnight sweeps the willow through?
We are the phantoms of Love's own haunting thunder
I do remember you

(Do you remember me?)
(I do remember you)

(c) Kay Irvin

Changeling

Take all that I am
I have nothing more left to give
"Be strong" ... is clanging
Abide and hide secrets that live

The schoolyard and field are empty
Tether-game chains resonate chime
Funny thing, is time
Funny thing, is time

Cold, shaking fingers cannot play
Swings and slides wait for tiny hands
No one understands
No one understands

I've met some like you
Familiar, fatherly-strangeling
But numbness saved me
And released this, darkly changeling

Stoical daughter has come home
Shivering, little girl has grown
Raggedy memories remain
Metal maypoles, streamers of chain
Unsettled, lingering refrain

And no one really knows ... the child who comes and goes

(c) Kay Irvin

Dahlia Lullaby

Oh, out of sight, out of mind
No, I never had a chance
And I leave it all behind
Parting the past and future
To an orange tinseled sky
Loops of tangerine go down
Low, dejected thoughts must have their say
They did today ... and ... they did today

I'm sorry for believing
I'm sorry for young ideas
Blind love can waste perceiving
For selfishness, then repent
My discipline follows me
Hollowing ambitions hang
Floating, as wistful clouds stray
To an orange tinseled sky
Loops of tangerine go down
Low, dejected thoughts must have their say
They did today ... and ... they did today

You never knew me at all
What a sadness to defy
I uplift and free this carry
Floating, as wistful clouds stray
To an orange tinseled sky
Loops of tangerine go down
Low, dejected thoughts must have their say
They did today ... and ... they did today

(Goodnight, may conclusion ease heartache)
(Goodnight, may new dreaming mend with make)

(c) Kay Irvin

- - Remembering a day & sky burst
With a setting sun, like an orange Dahlia
~ Written for:
Elizabeth Short - The Black Dahlia
(July 29, 1924 - January 15, 1947)
Ms. Elizabeth Short was murdered and found not far
From the Hollywood sign of tinseltown.
Also written for:
Lost hopes of youth, heartbreak, the mistakes over time,
Dissolved relationship(s)

Labyrinthine

Sweet spot-electric,... when you enter the room
The world is yours,... I'm all yours to consume
Immerse me completely midst nightshade in bloom
Deadly kiss, absinthe of impassioned perfume

I'm feeling euphoric and sacrificial
For liaison-exquisite, sharp as a thistle

Labyrinthine, dangerously tender
You're contradiction, dominant surrender

Passively aggressive, control my desire
Shall epiphany pang with magnetic fire?
Strike ... unapologetic, epic empire
Ma fee verte,... wake me, make me inquisitive
Love come take me,... la petite mort, vampire

Sweet spot-electric,... when you enter the room
The world is yours,... I'm all yours to consume

I'm feeling euphoric and sacrificial
For liaison-exquisite, sharp as a thistle

(Can't get enough of you, can't get enough of you)
(Deadly kiss, absinthe, control my desire)
(L'amour viens me prendre, la petite mort, vampire)

(c) Kay Irvin


Translation {french}:
[from my understanding & as I intended, here]
La petite mort - The little death
Ma fee verte - My green fairy
Liaison - Bond, Link, Connection
L'amour, viens me prendre - Love come take me ~ Love, just take me

Moonlust

Aria shouldn't know such mourn
Aria shouldn't knell such guard
But underneath
Black, lacy sheath
Be a rock rose, weary and scarred

Patchouli, melancholy, moonlust mist
Could ravage the throb, beating from your wrist

But if you love her
She would die for you
She won't let you go
You won't want her to
(twin flame, mate of ... life,... love is forever)

Chase shouldn't flaunt temerity
Chase shouldn't betray mesmerize
When moonblood drips
Dulcet eclipse
Be a she wolf with Gothic eyes

Patchouli, melancholy, moonlust mist
Could ravage the throb, beating from your wrist

But if you love her
She would die for you
She won't let you go
You won't want her to
(twin flame, mate of ... life, ... love is forever)

(c) Kay Irvin